


Red Lights

by DeputyDeputyChiefofStaff



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 12:48:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21356497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeputyDeputyChiefofStaff/pseuds/DeputyDeputyChiefofStaff
Summary: What if Donna found Josh after Rosslyn-too late.
Relationships: Donna Moss & Sam Seaborn, Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Donna settled down on the couch and turned the TV on. Josh would kill her for not watching the president’s speech in Rosslyn, but Donna had had a long day, and decided on a cheesy rom-com instead. Some modern adaptation of Romeo and Juliet.  
“I love you. I should have told you so much sooner how much you meant to me.”   
The end of the movie found Donna with tears on her cheeks as the actor held the body of his lover.   
“God,” she thought. “Wouldn’t it be awful if Josh died before I could tell him how much I love him?”  
Donna was brought out of her thoughts by the ringing of her phone. CJ.  
“Hey CJ! How’s everything going?”  
“You heard. I’m so sorry.”  
“Oh, no,” Donna laughed. “No, I’m just watching a sad movie. Wait- heard what?”  
Silence. A feeling of dread settled in Donna’s stomach.  
“Heard what, CJ?”  
“There was a shooting.”   
Donna’s heart beat faster.  
“Is the president okay?”  
“He’s fine,” CJ murmured.   
“What’s wrong then?” The dread and anxiety writhed around in Donna’s stomach.  
“Josh is missing.”   
Donna’s heart dropped. She tried to breathe, but it caught in her throat. There was a shooting. Josh was missing. The words matched her rapidly beating heart as she ran to her car. 

There was a shooting. Josh was missing.  
CJ looked up as Dona’s car came tearing onto the street. She parked and leapt out.   
“Where is he?” she exclaimed breathlessly. Where is he!”  
CJ looked down.   
“We haven’t found him yet,” she whispered, sadness rising in her throat.   
Donna took off running.  
“Donna…” CJ called after her.  
She didn’t look back.

Bum bum bum bum, bum bum bum bum.  
Josh is missing, Josh is missing.   
Donna turned a corner and let out a shriek.   
“No,” she whispered, sinking to her knees. “No, no, no, no, no.” 

Sam started at Donna’s shriek. He took off in the direction of the noise, CJ and Toby close behind. Sam turned a corner, putting a hand to his mouth.   
“Oh God,” he whispered at the sight of Josh’s body. His glassy eyes were rolled into his head, his skin was white. Sam’s eyes traveled down, and he let out a strangled sob. There, in Josh Lyman’s side, was a hole. There, on the sidewalk, was a pool of Josh Lyman’s blood. And there, in that pool, was Josh Lyman’s dead body.   
>


	2. Chapter 2

There they were, gathered around Josh’s body. Donna, crying silently, CJ, silent tears streaming down her cheeks, Sam, silently struggling to hold his tears back. Silence. Toby stepped forward, putting an arm around Sam, feeling tears of his own run down his cheeks. Joshua Lyman was dead. Where was Leo? Toby pulled out his phone and stepped aside, dialing Leo’s number.  
“Leo,” he whispered. “Where are you?” 

Leo got out of his car as quickly as possible, to find a red eyed Toby waiting for him.   
“Where is he?” Leo asked without delay.  
Toby motioned for him to follow.

Leo took in the scene around him. Donna, CJ, Sam. He looked over at Toby, who was trying in vain to hide his tears. Then he saw Josh. Leo stood there silently. He didn’t know what to do. What could he do? His son was dead.

Donna sat there numbly, hardly aware of her tears. She felt Leo wrap his arms around her, felt his tears on her head. And she was sobbing.  
The paramedics arrived an hour later. Donna refused to leave until they came. Leo stayed with her the whole time, arms wrapped around her. He held her back as they took Josh away. His heart broke even more at the sound of her anguished sobbing, begging Josh to come back.

Leo led Donna gently to his car. He nodded to an agent that had stayed with them.  
“Take her car to the White House, would ya?” Leo murmured.  
Leo opened his passenger door, and steered Donna towards the seat. She collapsed into the seat, silently buckling her seat belt. Leo closed the door gently, and got into his seat. He turned towards Donna.   
“Where would you like me to take you?” he asked softly.   
She shook her head, raising her shoulders slightly. “Dunno.”

“Dunno.”  
It occurred to Donna that she hadn’t thought about what happened next. All she knew was now. Josh was dead. Where was she supposed to go? What was she supposed to do? Her eyes filled with tears.   
“Wherever you’re going,” she whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Leo pulled up in front of the White House, and opened Donna’s door. She got out silently. They walked in silence through the halls, towards the West Wing. He led her to the Oval Office, avoiding Josh’s office. He knocked on the door. CJ opened the door.   
“Come in,” she said.

Donna took a sharp intake of breath as she stepped inside. She choked back a sob as she saw where Josh would always stand.   
“Donnatella.”  
Donna whirled around, half expecting it to be Josh saying her name so tenderly, so filled with love. But it was just the president. She fought back a fresh wave of tears as he took her in his arms.   
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered tearfully.   
She broke down. 

President Bartlet felt tears running down his own face as Donna sobbed quietly in his arms. He nodded at Leo, and he quietly ushered everyone else out. Donna stood there shaking in his arms for a while, before emerging, eyes red and puffy.   
“Where is everyone?” She looked at him, confused. “Where are they?”  
The president realized she couldn’t have anybody leaving her without her knowing right now.  
“They’re in Leo’s office. Do you want me to get them?”  
“I don’t know!” Donna said, falling apart again.   
Bartlet reached out his arm and touched her shoulder comfortingly.   
“I’m sorry Mr. President. I need to take a walk.”  
He watched sadly as she left. 

Donna walked through the hallways, unsure of where her feet were taking her before she got there. His office. Josh’s office. Where he wouldn’t stop for a beer. Where she wouldn’t stop for red lights. She walked in, fingers trailing on the doorframe, his desk, before coming to a stop on his chair. Donna stood like that for a minute, before making her decision. She sat down in his chair, and was immediately overwhelmed by his smell. Tears pricked at her eyes.   
“If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for a beer.”  
“If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for red lights.”  
She silently cursed herself as she started crying again.

Sam was walking through the hallways when he heard crying coming from Josh’s office. He knocked quietly on the doorframe before entering. He found Donna curled in Josh’s chair, crying. She looked up as Sam entered. He walked up to her before wrapping her in a tearful hug. When he couldn’t tell his tears from hers anymore, she pulled back.  
“You know the worst part about this Sam?” Donna was crying harder now.   
“What?” Sam asked through his tears.   
“I never told him how much I loved him!” Donna wailed, sinking to the floor, head against Josh’s desk.   
Sam sat down next to Donna, trying to remember the last time he had cried so hard.   
“Oh Donna,” he whispered. She laid her head on his shoulder.   
“I love him,” she sobbed.


	4. Chapter 4

Donna returned a month later to collect the last of Josh’s things from his office. She had quit her job as assistant, and poor Leo had twice as much work as usual, given the fact that they hadn’t found a replacement for Josh yet. They had offered Donna the position, but she just wasn’t sure she could do that. On one hand, it felt good, like only she knew just how Josh would want the job to be carried out. In a way, Donna felt she would be carrying on his legacy, or something like that. On the other hand, it felt like betraying Josh, taking his job after he died. She knew she had more than enough experience, being his assistant, and rather bright. Donna just wasn’t sure. 

Donna walked into Josh’s office, breathing in the stale, yet familiar scent. She had recently been able to do this without either getting choked up, or crying. She went to his desk, and opened his drawers. The first one was empty, as was the second, third, fourth, fifth, and so on. It wasn’t until she reached the tenth drawer that she found something. A ring box. She inhaled sharply. She wanted to know who it was for, but didn’t know if she could handle knowing he didn’t love her. Donna’s urge for knowledge won over her anxieties, and she lifted the box. Underneath was a letter. A letter addressed to her. She opened it, smiling sadly at the sight of his familiar handwriting. 

My Dearest Donnatella,  
If you’re reading this letter, I’ve either worked up the courage to propose and am making the mistake of reading this at our wedding, or something has happened to me. Either way, I’m sorry. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I don’t know how to express my love, but here goes: The past few years of my life have been the best. The minute you hired yourself, I knew things were looking up. It wasn’t until Governor Bartlet became President Bartlet that I realized how much you meant to me. You have been the best assistant I could've ever asked for. It doesn’t hurt that you’re absolutely stunning. (I’m terrible at writing letters, and I just realized how bad that sounds.) I didn’t hire you (and by hire you I mean let you stay- you had already done the hiring part) because you’re beautiful. You’re the Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff because you’re extremely capable, extremely bright, extremely- perfect. You have made my life perfect, and I love you every single day for it. I love you because you understand me, you put up with me. I know I’m not always the easiest person to work for (and by not always I mean never), but you are unphased. You are always here for me, always taking care of me. I don’t know what I would do without you, where I would be. What I do know is that I love you, and you are extremely capable of doing what I’m about to ask you to do. If anything were to ever happen to me, I want you to drop the extra Deputy in Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff. Of course, Leo would have to be on board. But he would be insane not to be.   
I’m sorry for the long and rambling letter, but the key point is that I love you, and if something were to happen to me, I, Joshua Lyman, want you, Donnatella Moss to be Deputy Chief of Staff to the President of the United States of America. Don’t worry, this is entirely legal. I know- I went to law school. I suppose I should wrap it up now. Well, I love you Donnatella, and I wouldn’t stop for red lights either.   
-Joshua Lyman  
P.S the ring in the box is for you. I intend to use it when I propose, but just in case something happens, I want you to have it. 

Donna set down the letter, brushing away bittersweet tears, and walked through the hallway, stopping at Leo’s office. She poked her head in.   
“Is now a good time?”  
Leo looked up.  
“Ah, Donna. Have you reconsidered my offer?”   
“I have. And I accept.”   
Leo grinned broadly. 

Donna stepped into Josh’s office a few weeks later.   
“I suppose I should call it my office now,” she thought.   
She sat down in her chair, and put her favorite picture of her and Josh on the desk. It was taken at the first Inaugural Ball, Donna in a red ball gown, Josh in a tuxedo. He was grinning at her like she was the night sky, and she was looking at him in the same way. Their arms were linked. Donna smiled a bittersweet smile, and fingered the ring on a chain around her neck.   
“I love you, Joshua Lyman,” Donna murmured. “I wouldn’t stop for red lights.”


End file.
